Q: So, is there any truth to the rumor that two of you are related?
Bob: Well, I guess the jig is up.
Dylan: Yeah, we can’t keep up the masquerade any longer. The truth is, Bob’s my ex-uncle-in-law.
Bob: That’s right. And I’m his aunt’s former husband.
John: That’s not all. I’m actually Dylan’s mother’s no-longer-brother-in-law’s brother.
Dylan: Also, John and Bob were born on the same day, at the same hospital, to the same mother. How’s that for coincidence?
Drummer of the month: I’ve never met these people before in my life.
Q: What do you play?
Dylan: I play electric and acoustic rhythm guitar. Sometimes I play the Lennon manqué.
John: I play electric lead and slide guitar, twelve-string acoustic, sitar, mandolin, violin and keyboards.
Bob: I play bass. I can also play guitar, cello, piano and the harmonica.
Drummer of the month: Drums.
Q: How did you guys first learn to play?
Drummer of the month: Drum lessons.
Dylan: My father bought me my first guitar and taught me how to play, but I learned mostly from studying the techniques of Jimi Hendrix, Keith Richards and Pete Townsend, and listening to the Kinks and the Beatles over and over again.
John: Our dad encouraged us to learn an instrument. He forced us to learn the violin and cello, but then decided we should switch to guitars.
Bob: Yeah, we didn’t even want to play music. Rock’s not really our bag, man. It’s all just to please our dad. Pretty Freudian, really…
John: What I really want to do is direct.
Bob: And I wanna be an astronaut.
Q: Any response to the accusation that you’re just riding the coattails of the other new garage bands?
Dylan: Listen, we’ve been around since 1993. We’re riding our own coattails, man. Besides, we really don’t like being labeled as just another garage band. We’ve practiced in basements too.
Bob: Attics.
John: Storage units, even.
Q: Any last words?
Dylan: Mainstream Alternative is an oxymoron.
Bob: When a stripper asks you if you see anything you like, tell her you like her shoes.
John: I can’t believe we paid a professional publicist to write this.